Psychologist Interview with Krasi Kirova

By Krasi Kirova
Kerry Athanasiadis has a conversation with our psychologist Krasi Kirova about her work and what are the influences that have shaped her treatment approach.
Welcome Krasi and thank you for joining me for a chat about your life and career as a psychologist. Can you tell us what inspired you to pursue a career as a psychologist and what has been your personal journey into the profession?
I think I was playing the role of a therapist with my friends from a pretty young age but it was only when I was in my late teens that it occurred to me I could actually make a profession out of it. At the time, however, I was living in Bulgaria where psychology was still a very young and under-developed discipline so I decided to pursue studies in Greek history and literature instead. Once we emigrated to New Zealand and later to Australia, I took the opportunity to study psychology at two great universities – The University of Auckland and Monash University – and turn it into a career. In between this I did have a few stints working in HR, publishing and marketing which I find so valuable now, but my end goal was always to work in counselling.
What are some favourite aspects of your work?
Meeting people would be the number one! I am curious by nature and genuinely interested in every person’s unique story. At Monash university, where I work in the student counselling service, there is such a diversity in the clients that present to counselling. I love learning about a variety of different cultures, their traditions, social norms and their impact on individuals.
My other biggest job satisfaction comes from seeing a client make some headway in the issues we have been working on or make a positive change in their life. A client’s smile or positive insight makes my work worthwhile and enjoyable and thankfully I get these every day!
Can you tell us more about your interest in domestic violence and abuse in relationships?
I grew up in a family where there was domestic abuse which ended by the time I was 13 and my parents separated. So I know very well what it feels like to live on high alert, always monitoring your words in case they may set off the other person, constantly suppressing your feelings and expressions in order to appease another. Living in such an environment invariably affects your mentality and the way you view yourself and others. As I grew up and was able to process the impact of this on my mother and me, I became determined to talk about domestic abuse and help others work through the confusion, guilt and anger that inevitably arise from it. I strongly believe that we as therapists do our best work in areas we truly understand and have passion for and for me, this has been it.
How has your own experience of migration helped to better inform your work with culturally or linguistically diverse clients?
Again, I can relate well to experiences of cultural re-adaptation and the challenges that come with it because I have been through this process several times. I left Bulgaria with my partner when we were in our early 20s and we barely had money to pay our plane tickets to New Zealand and very little support to rely on in the first years.
I think the Argentinian psychotherapist Priska Imberti sums it up best. She talks about the challenge for all immigrants to reconcile both the satisfaction of their accomplishments in a foreign land and the sadness of the losses they experience along the way and I find that very relevant.
Juggling parenting with work obligations can be one of the biggest challenges our clients face. You do such a great job of juggling all of the demands placed on you as a working mother. Can you give us some insight or guidance into how you balance work and family demands?
Thank you, Kerry, for the kind words. To be honest, I am figuring out that bit on a daily basis. For me the key is to keep awareness of how I am doing and really listen to my body rather than ignore it or try to push it too far. If on a certain day I feel more tired or unmotivated, I just take it slowly and don’t judge myself for it even when certain things don’t get done. And when I am having a good day, I try and get as much stuff completed and out of the way, so I think it all balances out in the end.
Reading is one of your favourite pastimes. I am curious to know what are you currently reading?
Yes, when I was a child I used to fantasise about becoming a librarian since I loved books so much! I really enjoy good fantasy series and I am currently finishing the new book from Brandon Sanderson’s “Stormlight Archive”. I also read a lot of academic psychological books so something lighter like a fantasy really complements that for the moment as I tend to read two books at the same time.
As a psychologist, your work involves giving out a lot of guidance and facilitating the process of change for your clients. What’s the best advice or guide that you have ever received?
It’s actually a Bulgarian saying that we often use in my home country and has proven true in my life time and time again. It goes something like: “Everything bad happens for a good reason”. It helps me stay positive and I always tell myself after a disappointing event “Well, something good will come out of it, I just don’t know what it is yet”. And if you stay focused on figuring out what that good thing is, you will find it eventually.
Finally, what do you like to do for fun?
Getting together with friends would be my number one activity. I love having a good laugh with others and will take every opportunity for it, even in the therapy room. I also love reading, travelling, watching TV shows like “Game of Thrones” or “Vikings”, and playing table tennis.
Krasi Kirova is a registered psychologist who specialises in complex (childhood) trauma and childhood emotional neglect (CEN) She has a particular interest in women’s issues, emotional and psychological abuse in relationships, DV, and dealing/separating with a narcissistic partner.